Breakthrough Symptoms....horrible reminders.

 This is me just two days ago feeling good, messing around with the webcam,feeling cute! Medication flowing through my body doing what it is meant to do...controlling the symptoms of Acromegaly.

.........And here is me (below) upon waking this morning ...medication no longer flowing through my body, at least, not enough to do any good. Symptoms rushing back into my body once again declaring war. Mornings like this I do not want to fight. I just want to lay quietly in bed and pray for the next two weeks to go by quickly. Two weeks until my injection...two weeks until my sanity returns...two weeks of medical hell. Worth the wait? Absolutely! Functioning properly without the medication in my system is not impossible but also not pleasant in any way. The huge 19 gauge needle that I look so forward to having pierced into my flesh is a Godsend, an opportunity to feel a little more "normal". The needle can not come quick enough. Sometimes I wonder if the medication does not last because my body has built a resistance to it. Seems to me it used to last. With each passing month now it appears to last a day less. I am scared. This has to work. the other injections sent me into anaflactic shock. That day is embedded in my memory as I thought it was my last.

   This treatment messes with my mind. Every month... for two weeks after the shot I am feeling great. I feel like I am beating this stupid horrific disease. Even have moments where I forget I have acro...very short brief moments,but moments none-the-less. I will take whatever tiny bit of normalcy I can grab on to. And then it happens, I wake up. Swollen beyond belief, sores on my tongue,dry blood trickling down the corner of my mouth, head pounding,cranial pressure, feeling like a truck ran me over in my sleep..then backed up and ran me over again for good measure. Joints are swollen, depression creeping back,heart racing,struggling just to hold my head up. Just want to lay in my bed and hear nothing, see nothing, be nothing.

  Within a few days my body will again adjust to the "new" me and I will function somewhat but not how I need to. I can hear the comments coming like a wall of water in a Tsunami. The comments will hit me hard and add to my suffering. "dont you have anything better to do than lay around all day"...I have a million things I would rather do. "Why aren't you cooking dinner?" ..because the sight of food nauseates me right now and my hands can not hold the pans. "Just take some Ibuprofen and do what you need to do" ...Ibuprofen is for minor aches and pains, not feelings of being crushed in a compactor or pounded in the head with a mallet. "Call the doctor, make an appointment"... so he can tell me I have Acro? so he can say just take pain pills and wait it out. Thanks for the insight everyone everyone but I just want to be left alone to deal with the reminders that I have Acromegaly and this is what it is. Physical torture, mental torture. I use the word suffer so others can understand the extent of what I deal with every day but I am not suffering. People can either choose to suffer or choose to fight. I am a fighter. I try not to let my life be miserable but some times these breakthrough days are enough to do in even the strongest souls.