Uncertainties

Well, I opened up my blog tonight and I am not sure what I even really want to write about. I saw this picture earlier and that is what prompted me to want to write. When I saw this pic I immediately thought of a group of patients with acromegaly working together to figure out the "puzzle" and the specialist off to the side holding the missing piece of the puzzle.. that missing piece that holds our future, our cure, our peace. I thought to myself, "just connect the damn piece and get it over with". I mean, the piece is right there and it is so close, yet, so far away. Too far away to grasp but close enough to try and reach out to. Why can't life just be that easy. Why can't a cure just be that easy? Why? With all the medical advancements in this world they have not found anything. They can grow a human ear on a pig's butt but they can not control a gland the size of a pea?? I get so angry and so frustrated sometimes because something so tiny can wreak such big havoc on our systems when it is out of whack.
A friend called me today excited to tell me that she is now eight years cancer free. The doctors have turned her remission into cure because of this special eight year mark. She was so excited and could barely contain herself. I was truly honestly happy for her yet I sat there silently, quickly falling into some sort of a trance, briefly pondering the thought of my remission, my day to celebrate and would that day ever come? I guess my silence somehow triggered her because she quickly apologized and said she shouldn't have called me with such excitement. I assured her it was fine and that I was truly happy for her...and that I just got lost in thought for  a moment. We laughed and shared some inspiring words with each other...... It was then, she felt the need to mutter the words to me
"Sherry, I wish you had cancer instead of that disease you have... at least that way you would have a chance at a better life, a chance at being cured". I was dumbfounded. Mind you, she did not mean this in a cruel way even though it sorta came out that way.  I did not take offense but it did make me wonder. I spent many years of my younger life terrified I would get cancer because there is so much of it in my family line and now here is someone wishing it was cancer instead of Acromegaly for me. Was I fearing the wrong disease? I spent so much time worrying about the big C when the big A was already in motion within me. Bad health is just scary, period. I would never wish this disease on anyone.. or any disease for that matter. Disease is life altering.
My thoughts about acromegaly have been all over the place lately much like the writing today. I guess at times things become overwhelming for me and my brain becomes overloaded with thoughts..so many thoughts it can no longer sort through them and process them properly. I have so many unanswered questions.