Dear Doctor..

Dear Doctor,

   You have been seeing me for over a year now and I think it is about time that you get to know me. First, let me begin by telling you that my name is Sheryl Colstock, not acromegalic patient. I am Sheryl who has Acromegaly not an Acromegalic patient named Sheryl. You may think it is the same thing but, in my mind, it is not. Always acknowledge the person first, the disease second. I have acro. It does not have me. I call you Doctor out of respect because you worked very hard at being "Doctor". Well, I have worked very hard at being just Sheryl, please address me as such.
   I do not think you quite realize how important you are to me. Do you realize that you have my life in your hands? Every decision you make in regards to my health affects me greatly. I would describe our relationship as one of love and hate. I love that you are trying to help me and make my health more stable but I hate that you tend to leave me in the dark. Don't think that I do not hear you whispering outside my patient room nor see the looks of annoyance on your face when I ask you questions that I feel are important. If I understood everything about this disease and knew where you were coming from when you spoke, I would be standing right next to you sporting a white lab coat and stethoscope too. Sadly, I am just Sheryl who has Acromegaly and needs to ask questions and maybe even be told things over and over again before I comprehend it. I am sure you will agree that, the more I know about this disease, the more we can work as a team instead of the you as the captain just barking out orders! 
   Doctor, I am scared. I am angry and I am frustrated. Surely if you could step into my shoes you would feel the same. If you try a little bit, you can probably even imagine at least a little of what I go through. After all, you are the one who is supposed to know all about this! I do apologize for cursing you out and blaming you under my breath. You are an easy target for my anger because you are the one that decides if I get better or worse. You did not give me this disease nor did you ask to have me as a patient. I will try harder to be patient with you if you will do the same for me.
   I do not need your sympathy but a little compassion would be helpful. Wouldn't hurt to occasionally look at me or touch my hand or shoulder and tell me you are doing everything in your power to help me or that everything will be alright. Don't assume I have tons of support when I leave your office because I do not. I know your job is not easy. Lots of people, like me, look to you to create miracles. Some even put you right up there with God thinking you can miraculously heal people. I know you are not powerful in that way but I do know that you possess the knowledge and tools to help me. I would just like your actions to reflect that. I am feeling like I am getting the run-around, like you are tired of dealing with me. Trust me, you are not alone in that thought if you are tired of me and my case. Lots of people are, including me.... and my ex and my family and friends who used to be there for me.
   So, in closing Doctor, next time you open the patient room door and see me sitting there, please walk in with a smile to reassure me that you dont mind me being there....again! Please look me in the eye with interest when I ask you questions so I know that you are listening. Please just tell me with sincerity in your voice and your eyes that you are doing everything you can to help me fight this disease. You can still be team captain but please let me join the team. I am tired of sitting on the bench.
 
Sincerely, Sheryl who has Acromegaly

P.S. Have I told you how much I need you?